One professor at school (an econ prof) had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were done at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam. Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in.

The prof looked at him and said "don't bother to hand that paper in...you get a zero for continuing after the bell."

The guy looked at him and said, "Professor, do you know who I am!!"

The professor replied, "No, and I don't care if your dad is president of the United States...you get a zero on this exam"

The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, "You mean you have no idea who I am???"

The professor responded, "No, I've no idea who you think you are."

With that, the guy said "good," plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other students exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room!!!

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A high school teacher was giving a true/false test. He was strolling up and down the aisles surveying the students at work. He came upon one student who was flipping a coin, then writing.

Teacher: What are you doing?

Student: Getting the answers to the test.

The teacher shook his head and walked on. A little while later, when everyone was finished with the test, the teacher noticed the student was again flipping the coin.

Teacher: Now what are you doing?

Student: I'm checking the answers.

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Teacher (warning her students against catching cold): "I had a little brother seven years old and one day he took his sled out when it was too cold. He caught pneumonia and three days later he died."

Silence for ten seconds

Voice from rear: "Where's his sled?"

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Once there was this white elementary teacher of an all <ethnic> class. Thinking she would be cute; she announced to the class; "Every Thursday afternoon we will have a quiz. And, If any of you get the answer correct the entire class can have Friday off."

The class murmers with excitement.

"OK, class", she announces, "How many grains of sand on the Sahara Desert?".

The class murmers in dissapointment as they look to each other for help.

"Ok, class, see you tomorrow", announces the teacher.

The next week. "OK, class time for our weekly quiz, now try real hard. How many gallons of water in the Atlantic ocean?", asks the teach.

And again the class murmers in disappointment.

Well, there is little Gregory pondering this problem. As the end of the next week rolls around he takes two of his brothers marbles and sneaks into his fathers shop to spray paint them black.

As test time rolls around the teacher says, "Time for our little weekly quiz, children". At which, Gregory takes the black marbles from his pocket and rolls them toward the front of the class.

"OK, who's the comedian with the black balls?" shouts the teacher.

"Bill Cosby. See Ya on Monday", retorts Gregory.